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blueorblack EP

by sannah handoz

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1.
there’s a bear inside your stomach, a cub’s been kicking from within. he’s loud, though without vocal cords, we’ll put an end to him. we’ll make all the right appointments no one ever has to know, and then tomorrow i’ll turn twenty-one, we’ll script another show. we’ll play charades up in the Chelsea, drink champagne, although you shouldn’t be. we’ll be blind and dumb until we fall asleep. none of our friends will come, they dodge our calls, and they have for quite awhile now. it’s not a shock, you don’t seem to mind, and i just can’t see how. “we’re too old.” “we’re not old at all.” “just too old” “we’re not old at all.” there’s a bear inside your stomach, a cub’s been kicking you for weeks and if this isn’t all a dream, well than we’ll cut him from beneath. and we’re not scared of making caves, or finding food for him to eat. we’re terrified of one another, terrified of what that means. but we’ll make only quick decisions, and you’ll just keep me in the waiting room, and all the while I’ll know we’re fucked, and not getting un-fucked soon. when we get home we’re bigger strangers than we’ve ever been before. you sit in front of snowy television, suitcase on the floor. “we’re too old.” “we’re not old at all.” “just too old” “we’re not old at all.”
2.
3.
can i stop my life so i can just be with you? let’s hightail to hawaii on a plane. i’ll embezzle what’s left of my band fund to take necessary action to destroy what i have made you and i will move to new york city i’ll get a temp job, you’ll start your career i’m not being fickle, just realistic the air is moist but it never gets too cold this time of year so tell me was it worth it? answer before i get in my van to drive into the pacific where i’ll probably never see your face again. say the word and i’ll put my guitar down. i’ll be sad, but at least we’ll both get laid we’ll start to fight when i start to resent you and we’ll both agree the thought was nice but i should not have stayed!! take the i-whatever to desolation and now fast food’s reminding me of you so i’ll write postcards and i’ll forget to send them thanks a lot, i lost my mind and now i’m losing you so tell me something awesome that can last my whole life sentence in the van ‘cause i’m on the s.s. ambition to nowhere and i’ll probably never see your face again so tell me something awesome that can last my whole life sentence in the van 'cause i'm on the ss stupid goals to nowhere and i’ll probably never see your face again 'cause i'm on the ss bullshit dreams to nowhere and i’ll probably never see your face again.

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released December 23, 2015

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sannah handoz Lafayette, Louisiana

this is an archived solo project created by me, hannah sandoz - find my current project(s) here:

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