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the postdepartum ep

by sannah handoz

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1.
i've done a lot of thinking, breathing, the air is going stale. in myself, i've been to heaven. in myself, i can't quite put my finger on the reasons i get nervous, on the reasons i get scared. it surrounds me like a wallpaper, someone's running through the wallpaper. i don't want to leave this city. i don't want to leave this town. but there's something calling out my name, my name is calling from all directions. i can't remember what you look like. i think i've read your face in books. i've seen your eyes in the pages, but it was never about your looks. i don't want to go anywhere. i don't want to stay at home. i don't want to go anywhere. i don't want to stay at home.
2.
goldring 02:03
grass is tickling the bottom of my feet while i sit on the ground at the park ,down the street from your house. there's a sad message creeping out of the patches of blue sky in broken sentences. you know that i can't read anything anymore, and the appearance of the words above the treetops changes the look on my face. this is your revenge, your way of filling me with soft unmerciful defeat. even though my eyes don't know what to make of the lettering, and my brain cannot process it, i read the words: free free free she wears a gold ring on her finger and i'm so mad it's mine/and i'm so glad it's mine nobody's laughing at me when i've got my arms out beside me
3.
entitlement 02:16
it wasn't long ago that you'd promised me you'd get sober but look at where we are now i'm growing cold to you you've gotta beg just to hold my hand and i couldn't hate myself more, for not being more important than the things that make your brain run and your heart beat. what makes you think you deserve it? what makes you think i'm your right? what makes you think that i don't get to start crying when we fight? i understand you're embarrassed i understand you're upset. you've just got to get over yourself in this sense of entitlement
4.
i want- i want to forgive you but there's- there's nothing i can do to save you oh, i want to forgive you, but there's nothing oh, nothing, nothing i can do to save you
5.
temporarity 03:05
you know, i wanna have fun with you before it's time to say goodbye i wanna know what i've done for you to make you feel so alive and it's this kind of weather that makes me feel the most upset i can't accept that it's over except it's not over yet. lately i've felt like i'm just a side project from my toes up to my head. lately i've felt like you're already forgetting me. lately i've felt like i'm just a side project from my toes up to my head. lately i've felt like you're already regretting me. lately i've felt- lately i've felt- you know i wanna create with you before you move far away we could talk on the internet except it's not quite the same and it's a little bit beautiful the way things have to end but i'm not making promises that i'll remain your friend. lately i've felt like i'm just a side project from my toes up to my head. lately i've felt like you're already regretting me. lately i've felt like i'm just a side project from my toes up to my head. lately i've felt like you're already forgetting me. lately i've felt- lately i've felt- so darlin', there's somethin', i want you to know. you don't have to leave me. you don't have to go. 'cause you could come with me it'll be nice!! we'll build a garden. in unknown places, the windmills will send electricity to our house (our house!) we'll have a grand old time with the animals no obligations, no reputations/expectations, and i promise you that we'll be happy. we'll be friends. nothing loses meaning, nothing has to end!
6.
the return 01:29
(i've got a question for you give me the answer) i've got a question for you give me the answer!! i wanna know the size of your shoes and all the other answers! all signs point to yes, i'm ready to go. i'll go anywhere you want me to. i'm just saying yes, i don't wanna go, i wanna go home.

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released March 29, 2016

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sannah handoz Lafayette, Louisiana

this is an archived solo project created by me, hannah sandoz - find my current project(s) here:

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