the postdepartum ep

by sannah handoz

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1.
2.
02:03
3.
02:16
4.
5.
03:05
6.
01:29

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released March 29, 2016

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sannah handoz Lafayette, Louisiana

this is my art! no apologies!! no excuses!!!

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Track Name: the departure
i've done a lot of thinking, breathing, the air is going stale. in myself, i've been to heaven. in myself, i can't quite put my finger on the reasons i get nervous, on the reasons i get scared. it surrounds me like a wallpaper, someone's running through the wallpaper. i don't want to leave this city. i don't want to leave this town. but there's something calling out my name, my name is calling from all directions. i can't remember what you look like. i think i've read your face in books. i've seen your eyes in the pages, but it was never about your looks. i don't want to go anywhere. i don't want to stay at home. i don't want to go anywhere. i don't want to stay at home.
Track Name: goldring
grass is tickling the bottom of my feet while i sit on the ground at the park ,down the street from your house. there's a sad message creeping out of the patches of blue sky in broken sentences. you know that i can't read anything anymore, and the appearance of the words above the treetops changes the look on my face. this is your revenge, your way of filling me with soft unmerciful defeat. even though my eyes don't know what to make of the lettering, and my brain cannot process it, i read the words:
free
free
free
she wears a gold ring on her finger
and i'm so mad it's mine/and i'm so glad it's mine
nobody's laughing at me
when i've got my arms out beside me
Track Name: entitlement
it wasn't long ago
that you'd promised me you'd get sober
but look at where we are now
i'm growing cold to you
you've gotta beg just to hold my hand
and i couldn't hate myself more,
for not being more important than
the things that make your brain run
and your heart beat.
what makes you think you deserve it?
what makes you think i'm your right?
what makes you think that i don't get to start crying when we fight?
i understand you're embarrassed
i understand you're upset.
you've just got to get over yourself in this sense of entitlement
Track Name: "i want" she cries, but you hold up your own hands and there's nothing you can do to see past them
i want- i want to forgive you
but there's- there's nothing i can do to save you
oh, i want to forgive you, but there's nothing
oh, nothing,
nothing i can do to save you
Track Name: temporarity
you know, i wanna have fun with you
before it's time to say goodbye
i wanna know what i've done for you
to make you feel so alive
and it's this kind of weather
that makes me feel the most upset
i can't accept that it's over
except it's not over yet.

lately i've felt like i'm just a side project
from my toes up to my head.
lately i've felt like you're already forgetting me.
lately i've felt like i'm just a side project
from my toes up to my head.
lately i've felt like you're already regretting me.
lately i've felt-
lately i've felt-

you know i wanna create with you
before you move far away
we could talk on the internet
except it's not quite the same
and it's a little bit beautiful
the way things have to end
but i'm not making promises
that i'll remain your friend.

lately i've felt like i'm just a side project
from my toes up to my head.
lately i've felt like you're already regretting me.
lately i've felt like i'm just a side project
from my toes up to my head.
lately i've felt like you're already forgetting me.
lately i've felt-
lately i've felt-

so darlin',
there's somethin',
i want you to know.
you don't have to leave me.
you don't have to go.
'cause you could come with me
it'll be nice!! we'll build a garden.
in unknown places, the windmills
will send electricity to our house (our house!)
we'll have a grand old time with the animals
no obligations,
no reputations/expectations,
and i promise you that we'll be happy.
we'll be friends.
nothing loses meaning,
nothing has to end!
Track Name: the return
(i've got a question for you
give me the answer)
i've got a question for you
give me the answer!!
i wanna know the size of your shoes and
all the other answers!
all signs point to yes,
i'm ready to go.
i'll go anywhere you want me to.
i'm just saying yes,
i don't wanna go,
i wanna go home.