GIFTS

by sannah handoz

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03:22
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02:00
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01:43
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02:45
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02:57

about

an audible documentation of my sentiments from august to february

credits

released May 21, 2017

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all rights reserved

about

sannah handoz Lafayette, Louisiana

this is my art! no apologies!! no excuses!!!

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Track Name: i used to wanna fly
oh, i used to wanna go
to a place where i could live
forever and a lifetime, on my own
oh, take me to the place,
where nobody sees my face
beneath the trees and covered up with stone
oh, i wanna melt away
like an ice cube in the desert
absorbed into the ground beneath my feet
still, my face is sopping wet
can i light my cigarette
before the coals behind your eyes go dim and cold?
and i'm not going anywhere at all
i lost me in the summer
will i lose you in the fall?
is it hard to find the time for girls who never speak in rhyme?
if i forgot your favorite words, would you still be mine?
oh, i used to wanna fly
you're the apple of my eye
can you tell me where your love for me has gone?
still my face is sopping wet
and i light my cigarette
but the coals behind your eyes are dim and worn
every freezing, wasted night
has me searching for the light
but i think that ill be there before the dawn

dawn
Track Name: broken heart
my heart is broken
i can't deny
you've up and left my life
now, all there is is but a sigh
i've got to wake up
it's past my time
if i can't find a place to live, i think i'd rather die
and all the animals
in the neighborhood
they hear me staying up all night just to cry
i want to feed them
at half past nine
when all the possums and their mamas
crawl down my big fat pine
but there is nothing
in the world
that i'd rather see in front of me today
i long to hold you
and call you darling
my little starling
how i wish to see your face...
Track Name: home
the house you grew up in
foreclosed
the answer to your question
no one knows
for if you look inside yourself
you won't find a thing
but still, the warm wind blows
standing on tippy-toes
to peek over the fence you jumped to kiss her
you jumped to touch her
and now
you jump
to leave her
Track Name: scary things
i go to sleep every night in an empty room
nowhere for the roaches to hide
beetles and bedbugs all over the walls
mosquitoes make nests in my sides
im ruining every good thing that i love
it's all 'cause im losing my mind
well i snapped and i spit and i fell in your pit
and i screamed that i swear I'm alright

when i'm choking myself in the early dawn
i think it'd be easier to breathe
so in i inhale, but the air's gone stale,
no wonder you're ready to leave
running alone when the moon is high,
i pray to get taken away
scary man in a bush
trade your shove for my push
but i always get home okay

too many scary things to think about
the list is longer than me
will i trip on my shadow? will the dog get out?
will they bury me under a tree?
too many things to feel nervous about
and you're the greatest of them all
will they miss my embrace or my beautiful face?
is the love of my life leaving me?
Track Name: dumb dog
dumb dog
tell me why you shiver down your spine

dumb dog
tell me what's been running round your mind

i sigh
for, there is nothing left
your ears are going deaf
and your feet drag
your skin is ragged; coat's bad
but still, your tail wags
your jaws reveal a smile
i start to cry

dumb dog
tell me where your sisters lie

dumb dog
i wish you had an alibi

but for now
good-by
Track Name: imagine my surprise
oh, wow
oh, i can't believe my eyes!
oh, imagine my surprise
to bury you
under the bridge
with the chugging train
and the pouring rain
oh, imagine my surprise to see you lying there
arms crossed, laying on your side
and you looked just like a zombie
you had me really scared
you looked like a dead guy

imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise

imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise
Track Name: imagine my surprise (reprise)
every time you speak my name
i grit my teeth and rue the day
i drink until i feel no pain
and i wish
to bury you
with the parts of me you've touched
for i can own them no longer
they're covered in bad blood
but don't you love that?
do you remember the look on my face?
my look of surprise?

imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise
imagine my surprise
Track Name: i did it!!!!
here i am, at the end of the year!
i did my very best.
i want you to fear me
so it hurts a little less...
and all my eyelash-wishes
all my candles, coins, and dandelions,
i asked you god,
i asked for the same thing every time
and i wish i could forget you
instead of feeling far away
i want you to hurt me
i want you to hate me

it's all over! it's all over!
thank god, it's the end
this isn't what i wanted, but i promise,
you'll always be my friend
it's all over! it's all over!
thank god, it's the end
this isn't what i wanted, but i promise,
you'll always be my, always be my i

want to ask my father please
who is it that i fear?
but who's my father?
and what is he doing here?
lately, i've been feeling pretty far away from you
i pray for dominica
deus ex machina
and if i'm really your favorite thing
to hold and touch and bribe
could you possibly imagine
what will separate our lives?

it's all over! it's all over!
thank god, it's the end
this isn't what i wanted, but i promise,
you'll always be my friend.
it's all over! it's all over!
thank god, it's the end
this isn't what i wanted, but i promise,
you'll always be my, always be my

yyyyyyy